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If there’s a god – do you know his name?
If there’s a god – if there’s a god – why do I feel so
– Ellen James Society, “God in Heaven”

I’m telling this story like I heard it from my sire, who said he heard it from Vechi in Amsterdam, who we all know’s full of it for all he brags about his Auspex, so take it for what it’s worth. Still, over the years I’ve heard enough corrop – corrobor – enough stuff like it to make me think there’s a grain of truth in there somewhere. Hey? You think you know any better, you get up here and tell it, smart-ass! You comin’? Huh? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Anyway, IF everyone’s through interruptin’, this is what I hear tell about the guy what made us. The Eldest, the man, the myth, the legend, Mr. Nosferatu himself. What? A woman! Well, I don’t know, maybe Nosferatu was a girl -I’m just tellin’ this story the way it was told to me. Male female – don’t matter nohow. Now shut the hell up'" sob Anyway...

In the early days of the world, Nosferatu – or whatever he or she called himself back then – was the greatest hunter of the land. He’d walk out of the caves – yeah, they was still in caves back then – armed with this big ol’ flint spear. He’d go alone, ‘cause he said everyone else’d get in his way, and he’d track down game for the tribe.

Now by game, you understand, I ain’t talkin’ about piddly little varmints – like that rat I saw you suckin’ the other night ‘cause you couldn’t catch no kine, Herman. I mean BIG game, safari-ho game like lions and tigers and bears and bison and wooly mammoths. No, no dinosaurs – they were all dead. Even Caine ain’t that old. Yeah, it was the Ice Age or somethin’.

Anyway, Nosferatu’d always catch whatever he set his mind to catchin’. He’d always bring back enough game to feed his people, and they all respected him. Notice that I said “respect” – I didn’t say like. Way I hear it, no one liked Nosferatu at all – yeah, yeah, the more things change and all that. He was a scary guy. Kind of a freak, like those Malkavians. Guy hunted ‘cause he liked to kill – more violent than a constipated Brujah on speed. Yeah, I know vampires can’t get constipated – it was a metaphor, you

Philistine. Anyway, AS I WAS SAYIN’, o1’ Nosferatu was a real S.O.B. Yep, just goes to show ya: we were outta luck from Day One. Stop interruptin’ me, dammit!

Anyway, one night ol’ Nosferatu was out huntin’ a sabertooth or somethin’, and he chanced to come across one of Caine’s childer who was also out huntin’. Actually, he didn’t so much come across her as she kinda sneaked up on him, Well, yeah, I mean, he was sharp, but he was still a mortal at this point. Anyhow, she kinda licked her lips and got her claws ready to kill Nosferatu and do us all a favor, you, know, but then he walked out under the moonlight and she got a good look at him, And she froze in her tracks.

Now I bet you’re expectin’ me to say that Nosferatu was butt-ugly that she was petrified with fear, but that weren’t Nope, she’d never seen a mortal man that good-looking before. Yep, Nosferatu was a regular Adonna or whatever that Greek guy’s name is. And she knew, hell or high water, Caine or no Caine, she had to have him.

So she followed him, creeping through the undergrowth while he hunted that sabertooth. And the more she watched him, the more she wanted him. But she wanted to see whether he was as tough as he was handsome. So she waited while he tracked that tiger down and killed it in one-on-one combat. Nosferatu was good. Didn’t get a mark on him – just stuck that spear in and dropped the kitty.

Now that was kinda a mistake, ‘cause Caine’s childe had been followin’ Nosferatu a long time, and she was get tin’ hungry. And when all that vita. oozed outta the cat, she freaked. Charged outta the jungle screaming like a banshee for blood.

Nosferatu was a hunter, and real defensive about his kill. And he was a real arrogant bastard too. So instead of doing what anyone with a grain of sense would’ve done –
which is, in case any of you idiots don’t know, get the hell
out of the way – he stood his ground. Now, like I said, Nosferatu was a great hunter, but he weren’t no vampire.

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